Forgot password
Enter the email address you used when you joined and we'll send you instructions to reset your password.
If you used Apple or Google to create your account, this process will create a password for your existing account.
This site is protected by reCAPTCHA and the Google Privacy Policy and Terms of Service apply.
Reset password instructions sent. If you have an account with us, you will receive an email within a few minutes.
Something went wrong. Try again or contact support if the problem persists.
Escapist logo header image

Stolen Pixels #148: Dragon Aged

This article is over 15 years old and may contain outdated information

image

[folder_nav]image
[folder_nav]

Here is how to make an old woman for your videogame:

* Start with the body of an incredibly hot seventeen year old girl. If you want her to look super old, use a twenty year old.

* Make her hair white.

* Add some very faint lines to her face, roughly about what you’d see on a woman in her late 30’s.

* Hire a middle-aged woman as the voice actress.

Presto! Old woman.

The game is not far from what I depict in the comic. In most of your conversations with her, she’ll stand there with her firm, full breasts and her perfectly toned body and bitch about how bad it sucks getting old.

Lady, you have no idea.

Shamus Young is a programmer and writer by trade, videogame nitpicker by inclination. If you have the patience for more of his ramblings, they can be found here.

Recommended Videos

The Escapist is supported by our audience. When you purchase through links on our site, we may earn a small affiliate commission.Ā Learn more about our Affiliate Policy