Not all Pokemon are created equal – and with more than 700 different designs currently out in the wilderness, there were bound to be a few duds in the batch. While we have been bringing you our Top 100 Pokemon over the course of the week, we also have decided to show off some of the more disappointing designs to come out of the franchise.
Some of these creatures are simply victim to poor execution – looking bad while still managing to bring decent moves to the table. Others, however, manage to look bad and be nearly worthless. Regardless of viability in battle, here is the compiled list of the 10 worst Pokemon designs of all time.
Did we miss one that you think should have made the cut? Let us know in the comments!
10. Garbodor
Garbodor is a big pile of trash. It’s like the designers knew that one day I would be making this list, and went “Let’s give that ginger a literal pile of garbage. But with eyes.” It’s not so much that Garbodor is just a bad design, but more that Garbodor is an okay execution of a really terrible concept. Even that fact can’t keep it off my list, however, because it’s ugly as sin.
9. Pineco
It’s… a pine cone. A pine cone with eyes. And it explodes, in a totally accurate representation of pine cone behavior. I know Pokemon aren’t exactly supposed to be “accurate” or anything, but come on. Pineco ranks 9th on the list because there is, at least, a light at the end of the tunnel – it evolves into one of the greatest spinners in the game. However, I’m pretty sure that could have been done with a Pokemon that wasn’t, you know, a pine cone.
8. Vanillish
I scream, you scream, we all scream. Vanillish is the evolved form of cute little Vanillite, and is merely a – you guessed it – vanilla ice cream cone, but with a face. I understand gaining inspiration from the everyday things that you see, but this feels remarkably similar to Brick Tamland’s “I love lamp” Anchorman moment.
7. Jynx
I really believe that Jynx was the result of someone losing a bet, or maybe she was the product of a dare or something. The problem with Jynx is that she’s not menacing, nor is she cute. Jynx is just plain old ugly. Despite the designers’ best intentions, the more human-like Pokemon always end up looking creepy (Not you, Gardevoir. You’re beautiful), and Jynx is definitely the worst of the batch.
6. Klink/Klang/Klinklang
Design guy 1: You know what really grinds my gears? Not being able to come up with a new Pokemon design.
Design guy 2: I think you just did!
*Design Guy 1 and Design Guy 2 high five*
So, as far as stats go, these guys don’t suck. They’re actually kind of okay. But dammit, they never should have been Pokemon in the first place. There’s no logical explanation for their existence, outside of nearing a deadline and being one idea short.
5. Probopass
Probopass evolved from Nosepass, which at least had a somewhat clever premise. Nosepass was based on the Easter Island Moai statues, and while it was a bit gimmicky, it had potential. Probopass on the other hand is what happens when you breed Nigel Thornberry with Optimus Prime, and then cut the body off and let the head exist as a sentient being.
4. Klefki
Klefki is literally just a set of keys. That’s it, a keyring with keys on it. Thankfully, Klefki is not completely awful in battle. Much like Vanillish, Klefki is a really good example of what happens when you run out of ideas. If they had taken Klefki’s moves and put them with any – seriously, any – other Pokemon, I’d probably love it.
3. Luvdisc
Luvdisc is an atrocious design with no redeeming qualities. It’s just a sideways heart with eyes and a mouth, is completely useless in battle, and is ridiculously common. It looks bad, it has a lazy name, and its moves suck. In fact, the only good thing about Luvdisc is that it doesn’t evolve, so we don’t ever have to endure a slightly more detailed version of this godawful creature.
2. Voltorb/Electrode
I’ve seen living garbage, a fake Pikachu, and an ice cream cone with a face. But hands down, the most disappointing Pokemon from a design perspective are Voltorb and Electrode (pictured). These guys are terrible because of how painfully lazy their designs are. Voltorb is a Poke Ball with eyes, and Electrode is a reverse-color Poke Ball with eyes and a mouth. Evolution, amirite?
Voltorb and Electrode are pretty bad, but at least they do things – enough for Voltorb to land a spot on our Top 100 Pokemon list, despite his appearance. The number one spot, however, goes to a bad design for a bad creature that doesn’t actually do anything of value. Go ahead, click the button…
1. Unown
Unown is not only a terrible design, it is also a terrible Pokemon. Unown is a single species with 28 forms – one for each letter of the alphabet, along with an exclamation point and question mark. Oh, and it doesn’t evolve. Like, ever. Know what else Unowns never do? Moves. Unowns have one move – Hidden Power – and are basically only good for spelling out dirty words during battle for funsies.
Published: Feb 26, 2016 05:00 pm