The world doesn’t seem like such a nice place in 2017, but at least nobody has to live in these 8 deadly video game cities.
To limit this list, I decided on a few basic rules. First of all, these cities must be modern, and they must be video game settings above all else. No Gothams or Neverwinters here. They must also be completely terrible, awful places that nobody would want to visit over their Summer vacations — but you might want to revisit these awesome games.
Metro City | Final Fight / Condemned
Metro City, the generically titled America metropolis setting of the Final Fight series, also gets some of that Street Fighter mojo thanks to a hefty dose of Capcom cross-pollination. The city is already a cesspit, where the Mad Gear Gang once ruled with an iron fist. Expect angry street brawlers fighting clowns and corrupt cops. At least in the later games, pro-wrestling mayor Mike Haggar keeps the peace.
And we can’t forget another Metro City — the setting of the Condemned series. Those horror games feature more living mannequins and serial killers, but the brawling is still there. Instead of side-scrolling, everything is done with first-person fisticuffs. So, logically, we can conclude that Final Fight and Condemned are set in the same city.
Santa Destroy | No More Heroes
The sleepy California town of Santa Destroy is more than meets the eye. It isn’t just some backwater where loser-hero Travis Touchdown watches his anime, it’s also the assassination capital of the world.
In both No Mores Heroes games, Travis and his psychopathic killer opponents wantonly slaughter hundreds of armed goons in more than a few public places. The school, the beach, the baseball field are just some of the public places where bizarre violence takes place. Super heroes, undead space men, super rich (and giant) CEOs, or football stars with flying squads of cheerleaders in mecha — noise pollution has got to be a problem in this town.
Unnamed Modern American City | Urban Chaos: Riot Response
If you love daily arson, minigun-involved shootings and general anarchy, then the Unnamed Modern American City of Urban Chaos: Riot Response is for you. The Burners, our Splatter Punk gang de jour, are the main troublemakers for the good citizenry. Then there’s the ridiculously over-equipped, riot shield-sporting cops sent to bring the Burners down. It all leads to lots of gunfire, lots of explosions, and way too much violence for any sane person to want to stick around this hellhole.
In case you’re thinking, “Well, that isn’t any worse than Chicago (or L.A., or Detroit, or any other actually-named Modern American City) — there is an incident with a nuclear bomb. When are we getting a sequel to this game, Rocksteady? Come on!
Kamurocho | Yakuza
Kamurocho, the fictional city district tucked away somewhere in Tokyo, is by far the worst place to visit in Japan. The people here are prone to violent outbursts, ready to throw down at a moment’s notice, and typically carry Chinese Broad Swords. Then there’s the yearly open warfare between Yakuza clans.
At any moment, stores are forced to shutter as hundreds of Yakuza roam the streets, bombing skyscrapers and publically murdering opponents. Nobody wants to visit the local hostess club only to get caught up in a wildly complex conspiracy.
It’s also worth noting that the city has been destroyed in a zombie apocalypse at least once.
Raccoon City | Resident Evil 2
Probably the deadliest fictional location of all time, the epicenter of the Arkalay Mountains outbreak from the Resident Evil series, Raccoon City, features in so many games, and involves so much convoluted backstory, we’re shocked to learn anyone escaped the city alive.
If all Capcom sources are to be trusted, at any given time (before the nukes were dropped, wiping the city off the map for good), Raccoon City was plagued with legions of the undead, a rampaging Nemesis monster, a crazed William Birkin beast, the unstoppable assassin Mr. X, a squad of elite Umbrella agents, an army of Umbrella Mercenaries (Two factions of Umbrella in open combat, mind you.) and American Special Forces shooting up the town.
What a mess. Thankfully, there’s still more to Resident Evil 2 — Capcom announced a true HD Remake, and promises completely revamped backgrounds. Let’s cross our fingers and hope for the best.
The Rogue Isles | City of Villains
As if Paragon City, the setting of the now-defunct MMOROG City of Heroes, wasn’t bad enough. At least in Paragon, there were so many heroes running around no villain could operate for long, even if the streets were crowded with invading aliens, Nazis, and the undead.
The Rogue Isles were way worse. Instead of finding helpful heroes around every corner, the evil government of the Rogue Isles encouraged villainy in all its forms, issuing licenses to bad guys and actively supporting their nefarious schemes. That means your wallet is never safe from government-sponsored muggers.
Los Santos | GTAO
Los Santos, at first glance, isn’t really so different from any other major American City. It’s in the details where things get weird — and in Grand Theft Auto: Online, complete chaos is the order of the day. Any given afternoon, you’ll find motorcyclists chased (and blasted) by Harrier jets, and gunrunners fighting it out on the street with their own personal tank battalions.
Sure it’s fun to join in on the endless mayhem, but just think of all those old ladies you’ve robbed. How many PT Cruisers do you really need to be happy?
South Town | King of Fighters
South Town may not be the deadliest location on this list, but it does earn special distinction for being the epicenter of global conflict with the eternal struggle between Terry Bogart and Geese Howard. We won’t get into the nitty-gritty details here — but the Miami-like city was destroyed by a space-based laser called the Zero Cannon in 2000, all thanks to a fighting tournament that got started after Terry’s father was murdered by evil crime / business guy Geese. Some people really take their fighting tournaments seriously.
Thankfully by 2003 the city was rebuilt and is now thriving. No one talks about the space laser very much anymore, but it totally happened. And Second Southtown, South Town’s sister city from Garou: Mark of the Wolves, is somehow even worse.
Published: Jul 19, 2017 06:00 pm