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8 Things We Wish We Had Gotten For Christmas

This article is over 9 years old and may contain outdated information

Christmas has come and gone, today we give you a list of just some of the things that we wish that we had gotten on this wonderful holiday. So sit back and drool over the potential presents that you missed out on.

This 3D Printed Heavy Breathing Cat will help you through those lonely nights. Just turn to this and yell that it should shut up and then it’s like you have your own cat that makes too much damned noise when it’s trying to sleep. Put this on your nightstand, or just randomly throw it into your house to get that real cat owner feeling.

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The days where you weren’t prepared for the zombie apocalypse are over, now you can defend yourself with this tactical war hammer. No one will mess with you when you’re flailing this around wildly. Just make sure not to hit yourself and then you’re on your way to being a threatening menace to your neighborhood.

Living life only being able to create things in 2D can get pretty disheartening, to combat those feelings of hopelessness we give you the 3Doodler. This “pen” will have you creating things in three dimensions, that’s one more than you were doing before with your old timey pen.

Middle-earth: Shadow of Mordor is just a really damned good game. You should trade in any of the shitty games you did get for this masterpiece. It’s possibly the best game to have come out of any AAA publisher this past year. Celebrate the passing of 2014 with the best that it had to offer.

Everyone likes to relax and take a moment to breathe, and no one else on Earth can help you with that like Bob Ross. Thanks to this DVD set of all of his episodes of Joy of Painting we can guarantee you a calm time as you watch him whip his fan brush all over that canvas to create so many happy little trees and mountains.

For too long you’ve had to forgo a hootenanny because you couldn’t drum up anyone else to join. Well now, thanks to the Self-Contained Hootenanny you can have that hootenanny without relying on the oft unreliable musicians. So call over your dancin’ friends and have a great time with your own personal hootenanny, which coincidentally was also the name of a not-to-popular Depeche Mode song.

If you’re an alcoholic then these are the shoes for you. The Johnnie Tan Leather Brogue keeps a small bottle of Scotch in the heel to keep you ready for any dry times ahead. Just be careful when wearing these, if the bottle breaks you’re a walking trail of accelerant so avoid open flames.

This live video camera drone will keep you entertained for hours as you hover over your neighborhood. This toy gets even better if you just imagine that you’re in Ender’s Game and you’re just a tool of the military industrial complex, it’s how you play war in the 21st century.


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