As an adult with a job, I sometimes find myself going into Roblox to generate coverage ideas. Dress to Impress, an experience in which players attempt to create an outfit for their player character according to a theme. They then compete against one another to see whose outfit will get the most votes. And folks, I won with the worst possible look.
You can see that outfit and marvel at it below.
I’m something of a Drag Race aficionado, having watched more than twenty seasons across that franchise. I wanted to do something that would make even the crabbiest of queens give me a toot. I put on every single thing that sparked joy, from a random pair of shoes, to a hoodie over top of a white body suit. Ski goggles? Well, let’s pair them with a flower. Add some faerie wings in for good measure.
I carefully crafted the outfit so that the layers would clip through one another. After all, some of the best fashion finds ways to transgress against norms, and in this case, I decided I would transgress against taste itself. Versace? No. Versac-me.
Coco Chanel once said, “Before you leave the house, look in the mirror and take one thing off.” Well, Coco, I beg to differ. I think that before one leaves the house they should look in the mirror and put eight different things on.
I completed the look with hair that made me think “anime serial killer in high school” and, of course, a nice swoop of bangs. I gave my model a face that had a mustache in honor of Drag Race UK‘s Danny Beard. Truly, this was the right choice, as it gave my model the sort of uncanny quality you want.
My incredibly fashion forward look won the day, making me wonder whether everyone had truly recognized my greatness, or if perhaps the game just pretended like I took first place to make me feel better because anyone who would vote for an outfit like mine might genuinely need to see a doctor of some sort.
If you’re looking for more on Dress to Impress, here’s our complete list of codes for the game, which is updated daily.
Published: Aug 2, 2024 03:14 pm