Take a hike, Disneyland. Move over, Universal Studios. Blizzard is asking fans to design the “Blizzard Entertainment theme park of [their] dreams,” and the winners will be given two coveted StarCraft II beta keys.
First, it was a convention that only increased in scope every year. Now, could this be indicative of Blizzard seeking to continue its relentless drive to conquer the real world as it has the Internet with – of all things – a theme park?!
I can already imagine it: After waiting to enter the park via the Server Queue, you grab a delicious frosty snack of Warlock Dippin’ DOTs and head on over to the Diablo area. The line for the Diablo III Pretty Pretty Unicorn ride is long, but boy is it ever worth it – you’ve never seen so many rainbows and sparkles in your entire life!
Afterwards, you decide to check out the Warcraft area – when you get in, the park staff makes you wear either an Alliance or Horde badge, and from then on, everyone who’s wearing the other pin will try to punch you in the face and steal your prize tickets. You’re really thinking hard about going on the brand-new Ulduar roller coaster, but you aren’t wearing your full Nausea Resistance gear – guess you aren’t going on the Heroic version today.
At lunch, you decide to go to the StarCraft Food Court, but can’t decide between the three different restaurants. Better make it Kerrigan’s, just to be safe – homestyle Terran cooking at its finest, just like momma used to make. Unfortunately, though you really were looking forward to the “Battle With Illidan” ride, it’s closed for repairs today – looks like they were not prepared.
In all seriousness, a real Blizzard Entertainment theme park probably won’t ever happen. It’s not totally out of the question – they do have the closest thing to a literal money-printing machine anywhere in the industry – but I wouldn’t hold your breath. Or at least drink a Soda of Water-Breathing before you do.
We’ve got a creative bunch of people here. What rides would you like to see at a hypothetical Blizzard amusement park?
Updated: – Apparently the contest ends soon, March 30th! If you’re looking to win a tablet, and have a good idea for a theme park, might want to get in on this before it’s too late!
Published: Mar 26, 2009 04:00 pm