The internet gave a collective gasp of delight when the first pictures of the man who allegedly shot Brian Thompson came out. No one knew his name at that point, but it was fair to say they were dazzled by his beauty.
Now we do know the name of the alleged shooter. He’s Luigi Mangione. We’ve now seen his full face, and so many people are thirsting for him. Even Jimmy Kimmel has noticed, and the late-night host did a whole bit on him last night.
After mentioning how end-of-year “best of” lists are starting to come out, Kimmel said, “We definitely know who wins Time‘s Sexiest Alleged Murderer of the Year. That would go to Luigi Mangione, the suspect in the shooting of the CEO of UnitedHealthcare, who’s become the hottest cold-blooded killer in America.”
“I’m not sure what this says about us,” Kimmel went on as the audience laughed. He showed a montage of the Mangione images uncovered so far, including one where he was shirtless. “Ryan Murphy right now is flying to Netflix headquarters in a jetpack,” Kimmel quipped. Jokes about Murphy, the man who brought us Monster, making a show about Mangione have been all over the internet the past few days.
“So many women and so many men are going nuts over how good-looking this killer is,” continued Kimmel. “There’s a huge wave of horny washing over us right now. It’s like when one of the guys you work with says, ‘I had a dream about you last night.’ When it’s the FedEx guy with the big muscles and the rolled-up sleeves, you’re like, ‘ohhh.’ But if it’s the bald IT guy wearing Crocs with black socks, you’re on the phone with HR.”
Related: Stephen Colbert Weighs In on the ‘Weird’ Obsession With the UHC Murder Suspect
He went on, “Our staff today – I have never experienced anything like this – these are screen grabs of actual exchanges between members of our staff and their friends, relatives, whatever.” And the screen grabs were really something. One noted “People are saying a NY jury has the power to find him innocent. Because we all love him,” while the reply said, “I’m not mad at him.” Yep, few people are mad at Mangione when it comes down to it.
Another person talked of visiting Mangione in prison, baking him cookies, and “perhaps more but I haven’t thought that far ahead.” And a man, the husband of one of Kimmel’s staffers, sent a message with a picture of Mangione reading, “I’m about to be a jailhouse bride.” The thirst was incredible.
Of course, it’s not just Kimmel’s staffers. X, formerly known as Twitter, has absolutely exploded with posts celebrating Mangione’s good looks.
Of course, a lot of people are just having fun, but underneath it, there’s a very real fury at the system Mangione’s victim represented. There have been countless posts about Mangione but very, very few expressing sadness at Thompson’s death. Even without his good looks, Mangione would probably have still become a folk hero to the millions of people in America who have suffered because of health insurance companies.
Published: Dec 11, 2024 10:30 am