More Mail

Yesterday, I answered some questions from the mailbag on The Big Picture. But that show only runs about five minutes, so let’s answer some more here:

Why should we in all honestly, listen to critics in the first place?

Same reason you’d listen to anyone else, more input. Different perspectives. Maybe you’ll hear a point you hadn’t considered, or learn about something you otherwise might not have known existed.

What’s a pitch for one of your movie ideas?

While conducting research for an upcoming review, a mild-mannered Internet Film Critic accidentally uncovers a deadly conspiracy that only he can prevent. After many, many elaborately choreographed action scenes wherein he defeats many, many enemy henchmen with his unstoppable kung-fu skills and saves the world from nuclear annihilation, a grateful nation elects him to be their new King. Also he has a flying motorcycle, and lives with various supermodels who constantly fight over him like in Tenchi SomethingOrOther.

Why is it that in a lot of movies (e.g., Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom) the female’s only purpose to cause a fuss and scream?

Well, in that particular case it was because Temple was deliberately imitating the jungle adventure serials of the 30’s and 40’s where female characters tended to act like that. More broadly, it’s often because filmmakers are told to include a female character and either can’t or won’t think of anything for her to actually do in the movie.

What do you think of the current trend of the “realistic filming” that we see in Project X and Cloverfield?

Partially because it’s cheap, partially because it’s a novelty and partially because it’s intermittently popular. I think some of the reason for that is that the camera phone/YouTube/Facebook generation associates that style with “realism” and immediacy, and thus those films are more affecting to them. On the other hand, Project X probably would’ve made money no matter how they filmed it because the trailer promised topless girls, explosions and a dog in a bouncy castle.

Do you know why My Little Pony Friendship is Magic is as popular with older men as young girls?

It’s popular because it’s a clever, well written show with a tremendous voice cast. I think a lot of people of all genders respond to it for the same reason Bridesmaids was a surprise hit: It’s rare and unusual to see a primarily female cast where all of the characters are well rounded and smartly realized instead of just staid archetypes. For example, the Ponies are all kind of equal parts screwed up, yet well intentioned, as opposed to The Good One, The Bad One and Their Wacky Buddies. As for how it got noticed by the older male audience in the first place, I have to wonder if U.S. fans would’ve found it had it not been running on a cable channel that courted that audience by running retro toons like G.I. Joe and Transformers. Just a theory, though.

Why do you think that talented actors are willing to put their time and effort into bad movies when they are talented enough to do more?

Money.

You mentioned the response to 9/11 via movies and videogames. But what was the comic book response?

Awkward and unpleasant, for the most part. There were some very worthwhile initial moves, like some charity books Marvel/DC published in the immediate aftermath and a lot of interesting takes on the event in the indie/underground scene, but as things segued into “The War on Terror” mainstream superhero comics stumbled spectacularly in dealing with them. Marvel briefly reworked Captain America into a 24-style terrorist story arc (it didn’t last) and every other DC bad guy flirted with the “metaphor for terrorism” bit. By far, the most embarrassing thing was seeing how the event “broke the brains” of certain creators; Frank Miller seemed to lose whatever was left of his mind after 9/11, and he wound up writing a pitch called Batman: Holy Terror, which boiled down to “Batman versus the eeeeeevil Muslim Menace!” DC refused to publish it, for obvious reasons, and instead he changed the characters just enough to make it not the Batman and published it independently as just Holy Terror. (It’s even worse than you imagine.)

When exactly did death become so taboo a topic for kids?

When American parents decided that television was a babysitter and began making the same requests one makes of a real babysitter: “Don’t tell my child things about life, death, sex, etc., that I might not be ready to tell them.” Makers of children’s entertainment are depressingly well aware that parents want their kids’ books/games/shows to be safe, and that safe means it won’t do anything other than keep them out of my hair for an hour or so.

Have you ever thought about doing a show about Cerebus?

Yes. And then I’ve thought about having to actually sit down and think at length about the ridiculous crap that frequently spills forth from Dave Sim, then I think about how life is too short.

What are your thoughts on [Jennifer] Hepler? (Hard Mode: Discuss her without using the terms “sexist,” “sexism,” or “feminism”.)

There is nothing, creative or otherwise, that Mrs. Hepler could have said or done to justify the disgusting attacks she was made to endure. Also, the notion that everyone involved in game development needs to be gamer (hardcore, traditional or otherwise) themselves is utterly absurd. It takes many creative/technical disciplines to make a game, and the best person at that discipline need not necessarily be a “gamer” themselves. Case in point: Shigeru Miyamoto, widely considered to be one of the greatest if not the greatest game designer of all time, does not generally play videogames recreationally. I rest my case.

Who is your favorite Venture Brothers character and a quick explanation why?

Oooooh, that’s a hard one. Honestly, I’d have to split between Rusty (Dr. Venture) and Gary (“Henchman 21”), because they both so completely encapsulate the broader “crushed by reality” theme that fuels the whole show. Rusty is just such a singularly perfect visualization of every broken promise made by Kennedy-era “go get ’em” kiddie-sci fi to its fans bound up in one kinda awful yet relatable sad sack of a man. I have a strong feeling that when all is said and done, Gary’s ongoing transformation from henchman to (Maybe? Hopefully?) awkward, late-blooming-but-functional adult will end up being one of the ultimate metaphors for my particular generation of fanboys. I’d also be remiss not to point out that Shore-Leave and The Alchemist are, hands down, two of the best written/acted/developed gay male characters in pop culture history, and it’s astonishing that they exist together on the same show.

Bob Chipman is a film critic and independent filmmaker. If you’ve heard of him before, you have officially been spending way too much time on the internet.