Jimmy Kimmel Shows Awkward Staff Party Footage and Shares His Three Must-Follow Party Rules

It’s the time of the year when offices get together and celebrate the holidays. Not every office party is made the same, though, as some businesses force their employees into awkward get-togethers rather than letting them cut loose. Well, Jimmy Kimmel has some advice that will make holiday parties better.

During his monologue on December 12th, Kimmel spoke about the staff party Jimmy Kimmel Live! puts on every year and what makes it so successful. “If you’ll indulge me, I want to lay out some rules for the party for my co-workers,” he started. “Here are the rules: if your drunk husband tells me you need a raise, you’re fired; if Guillermo tells you to do a shot, you do a shot, and please don’t ask me to be on your podcast.”

Now, these rules won’t apply to most offices. In fact, they may not apply to anywhere but the offices of ABC’s late-night show unless there’s another Guillermo out there obsessed with tequila and ready to have a good time with his coworkers. However, there are ways to mold them to fit any situation.

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For starters, avoiding talking about money is a great way to make sure everyone goes home happy. There’s a time and place to confront someone over the fact that Mark makes more for doing the same amount of work, but it’s not at the holiday party. Next, someone proving they can hang with the bosses at the drink cart is a good way to go into the new year; they just need to do it responsibly. Finally, anyone with a side hustle should refrain from asking coworkers’ spouses to invest because it’s never a good look.

After giving everyone the rulebook, Kimmel made sure to remind people to capture the big moments by embarrassing one of his producers, Patrick, who ended up on the top of a bar without his shirt on one year. It’s a hilarious video and one that is likely to haunt Patrick and his family for years. So, if there’s someone in the office in need of some humbling, make sure to follow them around this year’s event.

Kimmel’s final piece of advice is a bit more serious, touching on the state of the world and how the holidays are not to be taken for granted. “We know next year is going to be challenging; we’re about to endure a lot of gaslighting, greed, lying, ignorance, possibly even the measles and the mumps,” he joked. “So, let’s fill this Christmas with generosity and goodness. Let’s be nice to our friends, let strangers get ahead of us in traffic, maybe spend a little extra time with our kids, give our spouses a backrub, maybe have some snacks for the Amazon guy when he shows up. Let’s deck those halls and lube up those chimneys because Santa is coming to town, and he may not be coming back ever again.”