Police Called After Banana-Man Attacks Gorilla-Man in Ohio

A costumed altercation in Strongsville, Ohio is causing all sorts of havoc in the food chain.

We here on The Escapist have mostly free rein to write about whatever we want as long as it in some way dovetails with videogames and gamer culture – which mostly means that anything sufficiently nerdy is fair game. At other times, however, we’re sent stories that for whatever reason, we just can’t not write them up. This is one of those times.

Law enforcement officers in the town of Strongsville, OH are looking for a banana on the run. Rather, they’re looking for a man in a banana costume, who last week attacked an employee at Wireless Center while the man was outside promoting sales on cell phones. Which ordinarily wouldn’t be all that amusing, except that the employee in question was dressed as a gorilla.

The story of a banana attacking a gorilla is pretty funny in itself, but what makes this so surreal – and so hilarious – is the report on it by local news station Fox 8 Cleveland, which you can see here to the right. Seriously, just watch the video. No, watch it right now.

The reporter’s insistence on using some truly wretched banana puns is entertaining enough, but it gets all the stranger when the report continually refers to “the gorilla,” as if it were a genuine great ape and not just a man in a mascot uniform. But without a doubt, the best part is manager Brandon Parham’s description of the attack.

“The kid in mid-air, flying like this … like a Spartan from [the film] 300, except he was a banana.”

That’s an amazing mental image and I will treasure it until the day I die. You can’t make this stuff up, folks.

Happy Friday.

(Fox 8, via Mediaite)