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Rachael Kirkconnell and Matt James
(Jeff Kravitz/FilmMagic)

Rachael Kirkconnell and Matt James’s Breakup Isn’t Really That Surprising

The reality TV world is still reeling from the breakup of Rachael Kirkconnell and Matt James. They met on The Bachelor, but there were ups and downs in their relationship after that. In fact, that’s putting it mildly.

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Nonetheless, fans of the couple were devastated when James posted the news of their breakup on Instagram. The message took the form of a prayer, prayer being one of the things that had attracted Kirkconnell to James in the first place. “Father God, give Rachael and I strength to mend our broken hearts,” James wrote. “Give us a peace about this decision to end our relationship that transcends worldly understanding. Shower our friends and family with kindness and love to comfort us. And remind us that our Joy comes from you, Lord.”

Unfortunately, that message went live just before Kirkconnell boarded a plane. She explained as much on the podcast Call Her Daddy yesterday. “Literally the plane is taking off and I see his post, and that’s it,” she told Andy Cooper. “I don’t have any service or anything for the next 12 hours, so I’m freaking out because, you know, just got broken up with, and now, a few hours later, it’s for the whole world to see and I’m still trying to process it.”

She shared plenty more info on the podcast. Kirkconnell indicated that after a “tired, cranky, emotional” kind of day, all their problems just boiled over. “He said that at the end of the day, there were just qualities about me that he worries about having in a wife,” she said.

James said to Kirkconnell that he couldn’t see himself married to her, to which she answered, “Well, I feel like after four years you should know or you should feel ready.” They ended up concluding, “We probably shouldn’t be together.”

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So the couple are no more, but all things considered, it’s amazing they got as far as they did in the first place. James’ Bachelor season was marred by a racism scandal. Before the final episode of the season aired, pictures had already leaked of Kirkconnell at an “antebellum party” that celebrated the Old South. There were also rumors of Kirkconnell taking part in past racist bullying.

So, by the time of the After the Final Rose special, the pair had split. James told Kirkconnell during the show that it was because of “you not fully understanding my blackness and what it means to be a Black man in America, and what it would mean for our kids.” They appeared to go their separate ways, but then a bombshell hit.

A few months passed, and suddenly, the couple was back together! According to James, there were conversations between the pair regarding race and Kirkconnell had grown as a person. For a while, things honestly seemed to be going really well – but notably, there was no proposal.

There was talk of a baby, though. In a Q&A video from 2024, the couple were asked if they wanted to be parents, and they agreed it should happen in the “next five years.” So many Bachelor viewers had hope for a happy ending like that. What went wrong?

Well, it seems clear from the racism scandal that they just weren’t well-suited from the start. It takes a lot for a couple to be able to overcome something like that, and James and Kirkconnell apparently didn’t have it. It sucks for fans, but often what goes on away from the cameras is more complicated and dramatic than a reality show could ever be. So much might have happened behind closed doors, and old wounds might have been reopened.


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Author
Image of Sarah Barrett
Sarah Barrett
Sarah Barrett (she/her) is a freelance writer with The Escapist who has been working in journalism since 2014. She loves to write about movies, even the bad ones. (Especially the bad ones.) The Raimi Spider-Man trilogy and the Star Wars prequels changed her life in many interesting ways. She lives in one of the very, very few good parts of England.