Serious Sam 3 Delayed

Bad news, kids! Serious Sam 3: BFE has been delayed.

After months of promising that the rippling manliness of Serious Sam 3: BFE would be in our hot little hands on October 18, Croteam admitted today that it was all a lie and that the game won’t actually show up until November 22. What’s the deal?

“The team wants to take a little extra time to make it perfect for Serious Sam fans worldwide,” said Davor Hunski, the chief creative guy at Croteam. “The game is playing wonderfully and looks great so we are going through to balance the difficulty and fine-tune the code to eliminate any technical issues at launch. And we’ll probably add some more enemies to the hordes to blow your mind.”

Gamers who preorder Serious Sam 3 will get timed exclusive access to a multiplayer avatar of Devolver Digital CFO Fork Parker, who explained that part of the reason for the delay was to give the team extra time to finish the shading on his junk. He also assured gamers that while the extra wait might be disappointing, it would ultimately be worthwhile.

“Looks like the wife is going to have to wait on pumping up the milk pillows until I’m rolling in that filthy Serious Sam 3: BFE cash money,” he said. “Nobody likes a half-assed tit job. Nobody.”

Serious Sam 3: BFE will initially launch as a PC exclusive on Steam, Direct2Drive, GetGames, Impulse and other digital platforms, as well as through retail channels in some regions. Console versions are expected to follow later.