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Splatoon 3 Serial Cleaners Zero Punctuation Nintendo 505 Games Draw Distance

Splatoon 3 and Serial Cleaners – Zero Punctuation

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This week in Zero Punctuation, Yahtzee reviews Splatoon 3 and Serial Cleaners.

For more major games Yahtz has reviewed lately, check out Metal: Hellsinger, Soul Hackers 2, The Mortuary Assistant, Saints Row, Stray, No Man’s Sky (in 2022), and Elden Ring.

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Transcript

Nintendo have always been the innovators when it comes to hardware. The Wii and its motion controls, the Switch bridging the gap between consoles and handhelds, the Wii U bridging the gap between shit and piss, so it always strikes me as paradoxical that they keep churning out the same fucking games for them. They’ve come up with, like, one new IP for every four consoles they’ve put out. Splatoon 2 being just Splatoon 1 but now not on the Wii U was probably justified for aforementioned shit and piss reasons, but Splatoon 3? Splatoon 2 again but still on the Switch, only now the number on the end looks a bit like a little bum on its side. Well, don’t give yourself a hysterectomy pulling your wallet out too quick. I mean we expect shit like this from EA Sports, they’re like a big fat elderly dog, it’s a good day if they’re pissing on their own face rather than the carpet, but Nintendo has a better rep than that. So I won’t waste much of your time talking about the multiplayer, you can watch my previous reviews for that. Run around the place painting things and bullying twelve year olds and then win stroke lose based on factors you ultimately had very little control over in a startling metaphor for inner city middle school life. And I’m slightly annoyed that I had to use my Nintendo Online free trial to confirm all this.


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Author
Image of Yahtzee Croshaw
Yahtzee Croshaw
Yahtzee is the Escapist’s longest standing talent, having been writing and producing its award winning flagship series, Zero Punctuation, since 2007. Before that he had a smattering of writing credits on various sites and print magazines, and has almost two decades of experience in game journalism as well as a lifelong interest in video games as an artistic medium, especially narrative-focused. He also has a foot in solo game development - he was a big figure in the indie adventure game scene in the early 2000s - and writes novels. He has six novels published at time of writing with a seventh on the way, all in the genres of comedic sci-fi and urban fantasy. He was born in the UK, emigrated to Australia in 2003, and emigrated again to California in 2016, where he lives with his wife and daughters. His hobbies include walking the dog and emigrating to places.