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Stolen Pixels #135: Everyone’s Favorite Nemesis

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I have been “asked” to pass along this message from Dr. Breen:


Greetings, to the various and disparate groups of videogame fans on the internet, particularly those of you with an affinity for Half-Life 2. Hopefully, you have played that game and will recall fondly the role I played in that story, acting as your nemesis and your worthy adversary. I know I do. In fact, my fondness for the time we spent opposing one another is what led me to send this message.

It cannot have escaped your notice that I did not have a meaningful appearance in either of the two subsequent titles in the series. Furthermore, it should be painfully obvious that without intervention I will not appear in the culmination of the very story that began with our mutual rivalry. I hope you object to this regrettable outcome as strongly as I do.

I was there, hovering over you when you stepped off the train in City 17. I was there when Dr. Mossman’s betrayal was unveiled. I was the one who left behind the gravity gun for you to recover, thus enabling your victory. I was there at the final battle, goading you into being the hero you needed to be. I was as much a part of the world as you were. So I ask you: How can our tale continue when one of us is absent?

Of course, there are no hard feelings on my part over my apparent death and the part you played. But I hope you agree that this seeming end could well have been merely a feint by the writers. A ruse. Other villains have come back from far worse than vaporization. From Freddy Krueger to Voldemort, the adversary who returns from the grave is a staple of many great works of fiction, and it is just as valid a storytelling device in Half-Life as it is in “Friday the 13th.”

All it takes is a few letters. Let the people at Valve know how important I am to you. To Gordon. To Half-Life. Let them know you want to face Dr. Wallace Breen one last time. With the right incentive, I could live on in the story of Half-Life 2 and continue the battle of wits we both enjoyed so much. Don’t allow our contest to end just as it had begun. You need me.

Your hopeful adversary,

Dr. Wallace Breen

Yeah so, do what you like with that. Me? I’m looking forward to fighting some adviser pod space slug things.

If they ever finish Episode 3.

Shamus Young is the guy behind this website, this book, this other webcomic, and this program.

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