Reality TV gives us a front-row seat to the drama, love, and chaos of romantic relationships, and 90 Day Fiance is no exception. The show offers unforgettable couples whose journeys range from heartwarming to downright wild.
But what does psychology say about these pairings? Specifically, how can attachment styles – the ways people form emotional bonds – help us figure out which couples are in it for the long haul and which are skating on thin ice?
Each attachment style keeps us watching for different reasons. Some bring explosive meltdowns, others the hot-and-cold tension, and a few even offer the kind of steady commitment that gives us hope. The combo of all four types is a perfect formula.
With my background in psychology, I love using attachment styles to predict which high-stakes international romances will last and which are headed for a dramatic breakup. Here are my interpretations of the attachment style of every couple in Before the 90 Days Season 7 and The Other Way Season 6. Plus, some memorable couples from past seasons.
Every Anxious Couple in 90 Day Fiance
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Anxious attachment fuels 90 Day Fiance drama, with partners craving reassurance, feeling insecure, and sometimes getting possessive. Love is intense but fragile, and even small misunderstandings can spiral into a crisis.
In anxious couples, you’ll usually notice:
- Frequent texts and calls to check in
- Needing constant reassurance of their partner’s love
- Displays of jealousy over even minor interactions
- Rapid, intense declarations of love
- Strong reactions to minor conflicts
Why We Watch
These couples keep us on the edge of our seats as they navigate every potential “red flag” moment. This attachment style is made for drama, and even though they often face rough patches, some couples make it through.
- Tigerlily & Adnan
- Tigerlily feels anxious due to Adnan’s controlling behavior, like forbidding her to see a male chiropractor. She struggles to assert independence while seeking his validation, leading to intense conflict.
- Rayne & Chidi
- Rayne repeatedly seeks reassurance from Chidi, becoming upset when he doesn’t meet her at the hotel. Her high levels of insecurity reflect the emotional volatility of anxious attachment.
- Corona & Ingi
- Corona’s anxious attachment manifests as doubts about Ingi’s commitment, particularly when she learns he’s hesitant about marriage. She becomes frustrated over what she sees as a lack of support and displays anger when he doesn’t reciprocate affection as she’d hoped.
- James & Tata
- Tata seeks reassurance and leans on her family for support, creating tension when James can’t fully meet her emotional needs.
- Gino & Jasmine
- Jasmine often displays anxious behaviors, seeking reassurance from Gino and reacting strongly to his perceived lack of commitment. Gino’s evasiveness fuels her insecurities, leading to intense outbursts.
- Angela & Michael
- Angela’s anxiety around Michael’s fidelity leads her to monitor his phone and social media. Her constant suspicion creates a volatile dynamic based on her need for control and validation.
Every Avoidant Couple in 90 Day Fiance
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Avoidant attachment brings out the independent streak in 90 Day Fiance couples. People with this style need space, which can come across as aloofness or disinterest. They fear losing independence, keep things surface-level, and may struggle with intimacy, leading to tension.
In avoidant couples, you’ll often see:
- Distancing themselves during conflicts
- Avoiding deep or vulnerable conversations
- Prioritizing personal independence over relationship needs
- Using humor or sarcasm to deflect intimacy
- Downplaying or avoiding emotional topics
Why We Watch
Avoidant couples often leave us frustrated as they seem to keep something important back from their partners. That tension keeps us hooked, wondering if they’ll ever open up or if the relationship will ultimately unravel.
- Loren & Faith
- Loren shows avoidant traits by being emotionally distant when Faith tries to discuss their future, often sidestepping serious conversations about long-term plans. This creates tension, as Faith looks for reassurance, which Loren withholds to maintain independence.
- Josh & Lily
- Josh’s reluctance to engage in deeper financial conversations with Lily often leads to tension, especially when unexpected expenses arise. Lily’s similar avoidance in addressing emotional concerns creates a cycle where both prefer emotional distance over confronting their insecurities directly.
- Bozo & Vanja
- Bozo hides his unemployment and living situation from Vanja, avoiding vulnerability by holding her at arm’s length and framing their relationship as a friendship.
- Niles & Matilda
- Niles’ reluctance to discuss marriage openly with Matilda shows his avoidant tendencies. Instead of direct communication, he delays discussions, creating emotional distance to maintain his independence without fully committing.
- Joanne & Sean
- Both keep their marriage a secret from family, reflecting a pattern of avoiding difficult conversations about long-term intentions.
- Big Ed & Liz
- Big Ed often uses avoidance tactics, shutting down discussions when things get challenging. Liz’s attempts to get closer are frequently met with his need for distance, creating tension and instability.
- Patrick & Thais
- Patrick has shown avoidant tendencies, especially when it comes to family matters. He maintains emotional distance, although this has improved over time.
Every Disorganized Couple in 90 Day Fiance
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Disorganized attachment combines anxious and avoidant tendencies, creating a chaotic dynamic. These couples crave connection but are often overwhelmed by fear of emotional pain, leading to unpredictable behavior and mixed signals.
In disorganized couples, you’ll notice:
- Rapid shifts between affection and withdrawal
- Mixed signals that leave one partner feeling confused
- Frequent breakups and reconciliations
- Intense emotional displays followed by sudden detachment
- Worry about their partner’s intentions without full commitment
Why We Watch
These couples keep us guessing with their constant ups and downs. The push-pull nature of their relationship makes for suspenseful viewing as we wonder if they’ll settle down or end things for good.
- Veah & Sunny
- Veah’s conflicted behavior – bringing an ex along to meet Sunny while hoping to build trust – indicates disorganized attachment. Sunny’s reaction adds to a volatile push-pull dynamic.
- Brian & Ingrid
- Brian’s impulsivity and insecurities create an unpredictable dynamic with Ingrid. They struggle between the desire for connection and the need for self-protection.
- Shekinah & Sarper
- Shekinah leaves during arguments, only to reconcile quickly. Sarper’s controlling actions show a similar fear of losing control, so they cycle between attachment and detachment.
- Statler & Dempsey
- Statler’s fear of rejection leads her to display intense affection for Dempsey, only to pull back when her feelings aren’t fully reciprocated. The latest news confirms.
- Joe & Magda
- Joe’s reluctance to openly commit coupled with Magda’s unpredictable emotional responses leads to a volatile relationship. Their interactions often oscillate between moments of intense closeness and sudden withdrawal, a hallmark of disorganized attachment.
- Angela & Michael
- Michael’s evasiveness fuels Angela’s distrust, creating a chaotic push-pull dynamic marked by alternating closeness and intense conflict.
Secure Attachment in 90 Day Fiance
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Secure attachment in a 90 Day Fiance couple means they’re comfortable with intimacy, communicate well, and support one another without overstepping boundaries. They have confidence in the relationship’s stability, making them strong contenders for happily-ever-after.
In secure couples, you’ll typically see:
- Openly sharing emotions and showing vulnerability
- Approaching cultural differences with curiosity and respect
- Calmly addressing conflicts with maturity
- Displaying a balance of independence and dependence
- Treating the relationship as a shared commitment
Why We Watch
Secure couples give us a refreshing break from the chaos. They don’t bring as much drama, but watching them solve issues together gives us hope that love can flourish, even in challenging circumstances.
This season, it’s challenging to label any couple as securely attached, as most relationships contain elements of intense conflict or instability. No couple demonstrates a fully stable attachment with consistent, open communication and mutual respect.
But we do have some great examples of secure attachment couples from past seasons:
- Kenny & Armando
- Consistently open communication and mutual respect, even when debating adoption, make this couple a refreshing delight.
- David & Annie
- Their early rockiness gave way to stability, showing that challenges can be faced together instead of making each other the problem.
- Yara & Jovi
- Initially facing lifestyle challenges, they’ve grown into a more securely attached relationship, focusing on family and stability.
- Anny & Robert
- Initially navigating cultural obstacles, they’ve evolved into a supportive, securely attached relationship.
The Couple Success Predictor: Who Will Last?
Which attachment style lasts on 90 Day Fiance? Secure couples fare best, though they’re not immune to cross-cultural conflicts. Anxious and disorganized pairs often struggle, while avoidant couples can grow closer if they compromise on independence.
Looking at the casts of The Other Way and Before the 90 Days this season, a few couples show the potential to build a secure connection:
- Joanne & Sean
- Their respect and mutual understanding offer a foundation for secure attachment if they can bring family into the conversation.
- Niles & Matilda
- Niles has shown vulnerability with Matilda, and if he continues to open up, they might find a stable bond.
- Brian & Ingrid
- Despite current disorganized behaviors, Brian and Ingrid always come back to talk through their differences, showing potential for secure attachment.
- Shekinah & Sarper
- I never would have called this one in their earlier seasons, but they have each shown personal growth and are still together so it’s possible that they could get there.
- James & Tata
- Being young, they have room to mature together, suggesting that growth over time could lead to secure attachment.
New episodes of 90 Day Fiance: Before The 90 Days air on Sundays at 8 PM EST on TLC.
New episodes of 90 Day Fiance: The Other Way air on Mondays at 8 PM EST on TLC.
Published: Oct 30, 2024 12:48 PM UTC