You Suck at Parking Review in 3 Minutes – Top-Down Parking Chaos

You Suck at Parking is a top-down racing game by Happy Volcano in which your goal is to race through obstacle-laden courses and park your car.

Each level, you drive your car using WASD keyboard controls or a control stick and R2 until you get to a parking spot, and then you brake. The challenge is sometimes in parking precisely, but more often it’s in getting to the parking spot in one piece and not getting knocked out of it after you park. Each level features a time limit and a fuel meter that prevents you from going too slowly on an individual park, which keeps the game frantic.

The controls are consistent but weighty, and you’ll find yourself careening around corners while avoiding or using the game’s many physics-based obstacles. Things like jump pads, ramps, electrified walls, and magnets keep the game interesting and challenging throughout its runtime, and many of the levels combine them in clever ways.

You Suck at Parking is structured similarly to a puzzle game. There’s a hub world within which you find a series of themed levels. Once you begin a level, there are two-to-five parking spots you aim to park in. Once you park, you’re given a new car at the start of the level, and you aim for another parking spot. Once you fill all spots or run out of time, you get credit for your parking and the level ends. New hub areas are unlocked by completing more parking spots, so you’re encouraged to do your best, and there are even Mastery challenges unlocked by completing a level in the minimum amount of cars possible.

There’s the requisite leaderboard to compare skills with your friends, and although I don’t care for leaderboards, I still found satisfaction in completing each level well. The game is pretty hard and can be frustrating, but that’s the fun of it. You die a bunch trying to figure out the best path through the level, then complete it and feel cool.

You Suck at Parking currently only takes a few hours to run through the levels, with the devs promising more content as part of the live-service game’s future. There’s currently a season pass with a free and paid track, with more seasons to come, as well as paid cosmetics in the store. I didn’t get to try the multiplayer mode where you race your friends, and I also didn’t attempt to max out the battle pass, so I can’t comment on how long it takes.

It’s possible the game’s $20 price and the further $12 for the season pass will help the devs fund future content for the game, as promised on the roadmap. But there’s never any guarantee, and there’s just as much chance the devs go bankrupt or something. As it stands, the base game is a little content-light for its price point, which makes paying even more for the season pass feel questionable.

Right now, You Suck at Parking is a cute little racer that reminds me of playing Flash games back in the day — only a lot more polished, with cool music and some clever levels. I genuinely had fun with it, and it does what it wants to do well. If you like improving your times and trying all the hard levels, you’re going to have a blast, and the game and season pass may be worth it for you. But if you’re just looking for some casual top-down racing, I’d say wait and see how many levels get added, or play it on Game Pass.

You Suck at Parking releases on September 14 for $19.99 on PC, Xbox, and Xbox Game Pass and will come to Nintendo Switch and PlayStation in 2023.

Watch the Review in 3 Minutes for You Suck at Parking.